Personal experience series: Letting go of fear to experience the wonders of the ocean

**Note from Dive Like a Girl NZ: This article was written by one of our members who felt inspired by one of our previous blog posts "Fear Of The Ocean: How To Get Over It"; to share her own experience with other women in our community, so that they don't feel alone, and offer some pearls of wisdom with how to overcome their fears. This is what our community is all about- Thank you Ash! For anyone else wanting to share their own ideas, feel free to email us at britney@divelikeagirlnz.com 

 

 

I have loved the ocean for as long as I can remember- but it also terrified me. The unknown. What's underneath me? The mystery. The power. But once I overcame that fear...my, my, did my whole world change! So let's dive into a bit about how I let go of the fear I had towards the ocean and how it changed me and my life. 

 

There's one moment that comes to mind straight away. It was school holidays, I was maybe 14, my dad and I got on the jet ski and headed to a little island in Port Phillip Bay. This island had a little jetty u could snorkel off, with a forest of seaweed awaiting you in the shallows. With my snorkel in hand, Dad told me to jump in. I froze. The water was dark, no one was around. I awkwardly laid down on the jetty and dipped my head in to have a look and saw a dark kelp forest to my left, and to my right, a steep drop off that just got deeper and deeper until you could not see any further. In this moment, fear overcame me and I just couldn't jump in. I missed out on exploring this underwater world. I felt bummed that I didn't go in, but I just couldn't. 

 

A year or two goes by and we go back to that island and go for a Snorkel, but this time in the shallow sandy part further away from the jetty. It was a sunny day, the water was clear, and I peered at the fishies swimming below, doing little duck dives to get close and say hello. We Snorkel down the wall and make our way to the jetty. I see the drop-off, but this time I notice some muscles growing on the jetty. It was so deep I couldn't see the bottom but Dad and I decided to swim over and collect some. We got a few and then I realised; "hey look where I am! I'm not scared!"... well maybe a little but I'm doing it!! I Swim back to the shallow area and look down at the drop-off. It's not as scary as it used to be. It's almost intriguing now and I kind of want to go down there. 

In between these two trips to that jetty, I had learnt to surf. Something that would forever change my life in more ways than I could explain. A new found confidence in and out of the water I have never felt before. When I was learning to surf, and was by myself, the thoughts would creep in. What was that noise? Was that seaweed, my leash or something else that touched me? The thought of sharks came to my mind. Just like it has in the past. Even if I would Swim off a beach I wouldn't dare to go that extra bit out, just in case. When I started surfing in bigger waves, it was another ball game entirely. Now I had the power of the ocean to deal with, where I found myself in many sticky situations and scary moments. I felt annoyed at the ocean, as though I was fighting it. There was many hours crying in the ocean; "I'm not catching enough waves, I feel like I'm in people's way, I'm not good enough to be out here." These thoughts would run through my mind over and over, until surfing became a source of anxiety. 

 

I was at the beginning of what would be a 3 month solo(ish) backpacking trip through South East Asia. And I decided to do a freediving course. Something I had been interested in for a while. Gearing up and swimming out to the line was a little out of my comfort zone, the visibility wasn't great, and all I could see was a deep dark ocean. It dawned on me that what I was expected to do was dive down into this abyss on a single breath... I took a moment to calm myself, and then just went for it! After the 3 day course, I managed to get to 20 meters on a single breath. Something that sounded insane to me before, I had now completed. My mind was so focused on relaxing that there was no space to be scared. I didn't have room in my mind to allow for thoughts of anxiety and fear. At that moment my sole purpose was to relax. To relax meant I could hold my breath for longer, to hold my breath longer meant I could dive deeper. A funny concept to just dive as far as u can go. But it's that feeling, that feeling of calm, that feeling of nothing. That feeling of bliss is the reason why we do what we do. The fear left me, and I was one with the ocean. 

 

Two weeks later I did my first scuba dive, a different concept to the whole freediving thing but similar in many ways. I wasn't scared because the freediving for me really took away that fear. But I remember we were at a depth of 12 meters and to my left was a massive wall full of the most beautiful corals and to the right a drop off into the abyss. This was the first time I was in deep water and I could see all around me. I looked up at what felt like tones of water above me, and then that all too familiar that looked as though it never ended. But this time, I wasn't scared. I was in awe of the beauty surrounding me. And with that mindset, fear continued to float away.

 

Throughout what ended up being a total of 7 months in South East Asia, I jumped off many boats with no fear of what was lurking, swam in deep water, swam far off beaches, and surfed. But surfing still gave me anxiety. I ended these 7 months with a surf camp to try and relieve my anxiety when it came to surfing. And man was it hard, I felt so uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone surfing again. But once I managed to overcome that fear, I just did it. I started seeing progress and I started feeling that bliss. That bliss of catching a wave, turning or trying to cross step. The anxiety started to slip away. And I started to enjoy surfing and the ocean on a whole new level. 

 

Thinking back to that moment on that little jetty in Port Phillip Bay when I was so scared to jump in- to now, a girl who can swim in deep water, dive down to 20 meters on a single breath, scuba dive, surf and even just be in the ocean and not only not be scared, but f*****g love it! What I learned throughout this journey of overcoming my fear of the ocean, was to stop thinking. My brain was making up scenarios and silly things, that were never actually there! The fear was all in my head. Once I let the thoughts go and just did it, I realised it wasn't that scary at all. And the more I did it, the less scary it felt. So let go of these thoughts that make you scared, do what makes you scared and observe yourself gently as you watch that fear slip into the background. Because at the end of the day the ocean is a healer like no other and has brought so much joy and happiness into my life that I want everyone to experience. So try and not think, let those thoughts go and just dive into the bloody ocean cause man it'll feel so good :)