Afraid to start? Here's What the Ocean Taught Me...

I’ve always been drawn to the water. Whether it was swimming, surfing, snorkeling, or fishing — something about the ocean has always called to me. Every time I get in, I’m completely immersed in calm. The sound of waves crashing, the salty breeze on my face, the rhythmic slap of water against the hull — it grounds me in a way nothing else ever has.

But I didn’t fully understand how powerful that connection was until I started diving. That’s when everything shifted. That’s when I started to change.

A Life Half Lived on the Surface

For years, I flirted with ocean hobbies — surfing, paddleboarding, swimming. I loved them, but they came and went in phases. I’d throw myself in, then drift away for months. Something was missing, and I didn’t know what.

I also felt pressure to figure myself out. To find "my thing," that one passion that defines you. It felt like everyone else had theirs — and I was still searching.

And then there was the money barrier. Let’s be honest: diving gear isn’t cheap. It felt out of reach. So I kept watching from the shoreline, wondering what it might be like to belong in that world.

The Dive That Changed Everything

It was my partner who opened the door. He grew up diving and fishing. One day, he handed me an old snorkel, a pair of fins, and his speargun.

I thought, I don’t belong here. I can’t even load this thing. Everyone I knew who spearfished was a guy. It wasn’t something I’d ever imagined for myself.

But we went out to a quiet island in Northland, and I jumped in. The water was cool, clear, and full of life. He loaded the gun, and I swam out.

I didn’t catch anything that day. But I felt something shift. There was fear, yes. At one point my anxiety crept up on me and the deep water below seemed never ending, the feeling of being small in this big world grew bigger. But I didn’t get out. I kept going. And that decision — to stay in the water, to keep breathing, to keep trying — was the start of something bigger.

Growth Below the Surface

At first, diving was a curiosity. Then it became a challenge. Eventually, it became a calling.

Even when I didn’t catch fish, I was captivated by the silence, the marine life, the way I felt underwater. Diving forced me to face discomfort and learn to relax inside it. I learned how to read the water, how to spot fish, how to trust myself.

Before diving, I often felt unanchored in my life. Like I was floating without direction. Now, I know how to drop 10 meters beneath the surface with a calm mind and steady breath. That transformation wasn’t just about skill — it was about inner strength.

As my confidence grew, so did my joy. My partner started calling me his “Spearfisher Woman,” and before long, I was catching more than he was.

But what I value most isn't the catch — it’s who I became: someone braver, stronger, and more grounded.

Learning to Breathe Again

Eventually, I took a freediving course. I wanted to deepen my understanding of how to be in the water safely and intentionally.

Here’s what I learned:

• Strength isn’t everything — calmness matters more.
• Holding your breath is as much mental as physical.
• You don’t need to wait until you "feel ready."
• Growth often starts where your comfort zone ends.

That course taught me how to breathe more deeply, literally and figuratively. It taught me how to listen to my body, how to manage fear, and how to feel safe in the unknown.

And most importantly, it reminded me: I belong here.

Stronger Than I Knew

If you had told me a few years ago that I’d be diving, loading a speargun, and exploring the open ocean, I would’ve laughed.

But here I am. Because I said yes to the water. Because I showed up when I was unsure. Because I trusted that growth might come after fear.

The ocean didn’t just give me a hobby. It gave me strength, calm, and clarity. It helped me find myself.

So if you’re standing at the edge, unsure whether to jump in — do it. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be willing.

Who knows what version of yourself is waiting for you, just beneath the surface?

 

 

Kelsey Chapman

DLG Volunteer